


lonely fathers club. - monsta x fanfiction

by smoshyphantrash



Category: I.O.I (Band), Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Car Accidents, Drug Use, Drunk Driving, F/M, Fatherhood, Foster Care, Gen, Hate Crimes, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Miscarriage, Parent Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Protective Older Brothers, Self-Harm, Single Parents, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 14:02:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16703821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoshyphantrash/pseuds/smoshyphantrash
Summary: Seven different types of fathers, all of which suffer loneliness despite having their lovely children surrounding them. Who will succumb to the loneliness and despair?





	lonely fathers club. - monsta x fanfiction

hyunwoo: My favorite time of day had to be around 5 PM. It was that time that I was reunited with the light in my life. I was able to clock out and pick up my son, Danny. I could see him for what felt like days, even though it was only a few hours. Danny was a sweet little boy, he brought every bit of purpose to my life. The best day of my life was February 11th, 2014, at 1:53 AM, the very moment Daniel was born. He weighed about five pounds, seven ounces. His mother, Chungha, was so exhausted, she could barely stay awake to hold him. I was surprised that she even stayed awake to finish pushing. The love of my life disappeared shortly after and I had no idea where she'd gone. It worried me daily, but I never let Danny know that anything was wrong. It'd only been me and him since he could remember. I don't even talk about Chungha, he'd only know her as a stranger.

hoseok: "Wake her up," I gritted my teeth as the bedroom door slammed. "And I will fucking destroy you. I'm not in the fucking mood to deal with that tonight." My mentally deranged lover glared at me. I knew I was dancing with the devil, but he'd stepped on my toes one too many times. 

Hyungwon chuckled softly at me. "I will go in there and scream right now, don't talk to me like that, you little bitch." His words bounced off of my rubber skin by now. "Never would you ever even consider talking to me like that. I'm gonna go ahead and assume that you're just stressed out and we're gonna go to bed and act like that never happened."

We were always acting like something never happened. Hyungwon coming home drunk? Never happens. Hyungwon shooting up in the bathroom? Never happens. Hyungwon beating my ass? Never happens. Nothing ever happens.

minhyuk: I sighed softly as I began to scrub my garage door. The paint wasn't coming off at all. At this point, I should just invest in a spray painter. That way, I can just spray my house down in a fresh coat of paint and erase the image of hatred off of it. I could at least erase that, but not the deeply rooted self hatred I had for myself. Being in this neighborhood, the neighborhood I'd grown up in and left, only to return when things took a turn for the worst, it turned me into a person I sincerely hated. The timid, cowardly, closeted me. It took me back to the me that tried to believe in the good heart of humanity, only to be constantly played and hurt by those who loved exploitation. If my aunt, my mother's best friend, wasn't on her deathbed, I would not be here. I would be in a different neighborhood. Hell, maybe the Gay Center of America, Los Angeles. Not here in a stupid fucking small city in California that no one could possibly care about. The only thing keeping me somewhat sane are my beautiful baby girls. Audrey and Abigail saved me, made me a better person. The only worry I had for them in store was the inane fear of them being targeted at my expense. "Wow, you're the girls with the faggot father. I can't believe you've made it out of there without becoming a queer." That's my absolute nightmare. And I wish this woman would get better so I could fucking leave and keep them away from the vandalism our house got, just for me being gay.

kihyun: "Daddy!" Elizabeth whined, coming up to me and pulling at my leg. 

I looked down, away from my cooking for a second. "What's wrong, baby?" I asked, turning the stove off and picking her up to talk to her for a second. 

Elizabeth let a tear fall softly. "Sissy pushed me down... It really hurt. I hit the dresser." I gasped a bit, grabbing her shirt.

"Is it on your back?" I asked. Elizabeth nodded, tears wetting her cheeks a bit more. I looked over her shoulder and saw where she'd hit the dresser. Her back was already reddened, telling me a bruise was coming on. "Esther Mae!" I yelled out. "Come on baby, let's get you some ice, yeah?" I grabbed a small ice pack out of the freezer, taking Lizzie to the living room, laying her on her stomach. 

Esther came down the stairs, "Yeah, dad?" She asked softly before taking in the fact that Lizzie had told me what happened.

I put the ice pack on a towel before laying it under Lizzie's shirt. "Did you push your sister down? And did you make her hit her back?" Esther shook her head. "Don't lie to me. What did I tell you about rough housing with Lizzie? She's younger than you, you can't play with her the way you do with your friends, Esther." Esther sighed as if she was exasperated with me. "Oh? Is that an attitude I hear?" Esther tried to shake her head again. "I think it is. Tell you what. Go upstairs, go get me your iPod and your headphones." Esther rolled her eyes, going upstairs. "And cut that attitude shit out, before I cut it for you."

Elizabeth snickered a bit, "Ooooh, Sissy's in trouble." Lizzie was cute, but an instigator nonetheless.

I glanced toward her. "You, hush." I sighed softly, hearing Samuel cry from my room. I began heading toward my bedroom. "Hey baby boy," I whispered a bit. I went into the mini fridge and grabbed a bottle, setting it in the bottle warmer on top. "How's it going, little man?" I laid a towel down on my bed before picking him up out of my crib to begin changing his diaper.

After I finished with his diaper, his bottle was done. "Here," Esther came into my room to give me her iPod. "You know, Mama wouldn't get me in trouble for something this stupid."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Guess what? I'm not Mama," I said, testing the baby milk on my arm.

"That's fucking obvious..." I heard Esther mumble under her breath. 

I slowly turned to look at her. "You know what, little girl?" I began to read her the riot act before catching Samuel moving toward the end of the bed out the corner of my eye. "Oh my God!" I rushed over to the edge of the bed, catching him before he fell to the ground. The quick jerk, along with my shouting scared him a began his crying fit. "Shh, hey buddy... It's okay." I put him on my chest, bouncing him softly. "Esther, I don't want to fight with you today. I'm trying my hardest. No, I'm not your mother. I can never be your mother. But please, can you please work with me here? You're starting to take care of yourself. I still have two to take care of. Do not curse at me." I sighed as Samuel kept on crying. "You know, and you know well, that I would make you wash your mouth out with soap. I don't feel like it today. So instead of that, I want you to sit at the kitchen table and write 'I will not curse at my father' a hundred times. Is that fair?"

Esther scoffed, "No, it's not. It slipped, I'm sorry." I cocked my head at her for a second.

Samuel slowly calmed down, allowing me chance to speak more. "You're only sorry that I heard it." I went into my baby drawer, grabbing and empty notebook. "Get to writing. There are pens in the kitchen." As Esther left my room, I heard her talk about her mother again. I let my door close a bit before going to sit with Samuel in the rocking chair. I began to feed him and saw the last little bit of tears in his eyes. I sighed softly, tears coming to my eyes. "I-I'm trying, Sohye. I really am. I miss you too..." I wanted to have a drink. Just a small one. The whisper of a thought quickly changed to something else. I would never put my hand on a drink as long as I lived, neither would my children. Drinking had ruined our lives already.

hyungwon: What was a home? I hated being at my house. It was fucking bullshit. I always needed a drink or two to get through the day. Hoseok was exhausting. Sarah was exhausting. I was still so young. I don't know why I decided to become a father. It was too much. And I wasn't even happy in my relationship to begin with. I regret everything and I just wish it never happened.

jooheon: I was only ten when Changkyun was born. I was 16 when I began taking Changkyun to doctor appointments, parent teacher conferences and to birthday parties. He always introduced me to people as his brother, but I treated him more like a son. Our foster parents were barely any better than my birth parents. They wanted the money they got for us, not the responsibility of getting us on the right path. They wanted to have toys to beat up whenever they felt like it. The moment I turned 18, I went to Changkyun's social worker and begged for him. I pleaded so much that actual tears began streaming down my face. I needed to protect him.

It was easy to forget about the monster that is puberty. "Changkyun," I sighed, setting my textbook down. "I love you kid, but you can't talk to me like that. I'm your brother, I'm your friend, but I'm your guardian first." He'd get moody just like anyone else.

Changkyun scoffed, not even breaking his gaze at his phone. "Whatever. Nayoung is outside, we're gonna go hang out." He was obsessed with that girl. Young love, I suppose.

"Hey," I said as he opened the door. "Please do not go out and have sex. And if you do, please, please go buy condoms. I don't want you to have to deal with diseases or a baby so young." I was basically a teen father myself. It's not what I wanted for my baby brother.

Changkyun nodded, grabbing his jacket. "She's on the pill, if we ever choose to. Bye, Jooheon." 

I smiled softly. "10:00 sharp!" I shouted after him.

I always made it easy to talk to me. Until one day, I didn't. About a week later, Changkyun came home, tears streaming down his face. "Please don't hate me, bro. Please..." 

I looked up from my schoolwork, getting up to console him. "Why would I hate you, kid?" I asked softly.

"I-I..." He pulled away from me. I saw the anxiety rush through him as his hands shook. "Nayoung's pregnant... I got her pregnant."

My face fell as I glared at him. "You better be fucking kidding me, Changkyun." He shook his head, looking down. "Fuck!" I yelled, kicking my desk. I caught Changkyun flinching out the corner of my eye. "Get out," I said, taking a deep breath. "Before I get really pissed off at you." Changkyun hurried out of the room, closing the door behind him. I sighed, trying to calm myself down. I failed him, once again.

changkyun: My brother Jooheon was my rock. He was my role model, my guardian, my everything. As you grow up, you begin to at least attempt to depend on yourself. That's what I tried to do. I tried to do that, along with convincing myself that I no longer needed Jooheon like I had needed him before. 

Then, I found myself depending on my girlfriend, Nayoung. She was 16, pretty independent and everything I wanted. She wanted to do psychology in college. She was smart, all around amazing. I lost my virginity to her. And it only takes one time. 

The moment she told me that she was pregnant... Everything came crashing down. My first fear was telling Jooheon. And that didn't go over easily whatsoever. An hour after he'd blown up on me, he came to my room and began bombarding me with options. "Are you two going to keep it?" He asked.

I looked up at him confused. "We aren't adopting it out or abandoning it. What other choice is there?"

Jooheon wasn't blunt at all with it. "Abortion. It's the medical termination of a pregnancy. As if it wasn't obvious enough, I didn't do a good job at giving you sex ed." He sighed softly. "You're too young to do this. You wouldn't have gotten her pregnant in the first place if you were mature enough. But now you're stuck with this choice, you gotta grow up now. You have less than nine months to do so. Be in bed in 30 minutes, goodnight." Jooheon left my room and I just immediately took off my jacket and jeans, crawling into bed and turning off the light. I told Nayoung to meet with me to talk. We had no time to waste.


End file.
